Our son, Sam, experienced an assault in the school bathroom at the age of six. Despite wearing typical boy’s clothing like khaki pants and a Star Wars t-shirt, Sam’s long hair and pink Crocs led another student to misidentify Sam as a girl, resulting in verbal and physical abuse.
Bathroom troubles for Sam weren’t limited to school. Taking Sam to public restrooms alone was unsafe. Whether at playgrounds, zoos, airports, or restaurants, other children—and even adults—felt compelled to correct Sam about being in the “wrong” bathroom. These encounters ranged from polite to hostile. For Sam, a young child, it was simply about needing to use the restroom.
These repeated negative bathroom experiences inspired us to write the children’s book, Jacob’s Room to Choose. The story depicts Jacob and his friend Sophie being ostracized from school bathrooms due to their clothing. When their teacher notices the problem, she initiates a lesson on basic bathroom etiquette. As parents and authors, we advocate for safe bathroom access for everyone, regardless of appearance.
Jacob’s Room to Choose is currently banned in multiple U.S. states and Malaysia.
Jacob’s Room to Choose is one of nine children’s picture books included in a filed in Montgomery County, Md., by parents objecting to their children being exposed to books promoting self-acceptance and kindness in the classroom. The books were incorporated into the school district’s language arts curriculum through a thorough and inclusive community process, aimed at diversifying representation of children’s lived experiences. The Supreme Court will hear arguments for Mahmoud v. Taylor on April 22, addressing the constitutionality of inclusive education. The plaintiffs argue that prohibiting them from opting their children out of instruction involving books with LGBTQIA+ characters infringes upon their First Amendment right to religious freedom. They believe their children will suffer irreparable harm from exposure to the diverse individuals and families depicted in these books.
We firmly believe in the fundamental right to religious expression, but not when it infringes upon the rights of others. Allowing parents to opt their children out of reading our books negatively impacts those children whose lives and families are reflected within those stories. “Opt-out” policies send a clear message that treating all individuals with respect is optional, and that children who are different do not deserve the same respect as their peers.
We recognize the profound impact of representation in literature. When Sam, at age four, expressed a desire to wear dresses, we struggled to find books featuring similar boys. It was an isolating experience for both him and us. Consequently, we wrote our first book, Jacob’s New Dress, to reassure children like Sam that they are not alone and to promote kindness among all children. We frequently hear from parents, teachers, and librarians about the positive impact this book has had on the children they care for.
At times, it feels as though storytelling is insufficient. That a simple book is no match for the hateful rhetoric falsely portraying books as harmful to children. However, we remember that our stories possess such power that some individuals fear them. They resort to misrepresenting the books’ contents, labeling them as “radical indoctrination,” “pornography,” and “child abuse.” They seek to suppress them, fearing books that simply advocate for kindness.
We believe that every elementary school student deserves kindness and respect. Embracing others as they are paves the way for a world where we can coexist peacefully, regardless of religious beliefs.