It seems that everywhere, from news channels and social media to our personal lives, people are reacting intensely. We become enraged by commentators, feel overwhelmed by current events that may not even occur, and take our frustrations out on those closest to us.
Of course, the world does present legitimate issues that deserve our attention and may understandably provoke anger or worry.
However, the key point is that while we cannot always control events, we *can* choose how we respond. This choice, in turn, has a transformative effect.
I believe we’re experiencing a widespread tendency to overreact, and to combat it, we must first recognize that the core problem lies not in our emotions themselves, but in how we manage them. Instead of calmly managing our feelings, we simply react. Instead of pausing to consider, we immediately lash out. Instead of processing our emotions, we panic. As a result, we create unnecessary difficulties for ourselves and others.
I study this professionally. As the director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, I’ve spent decades researching why some individuals navigate life’s challenges with composure, while others fall apart. The difference isn’t that calm individuals have easier lives; it’s that they have learned effective strategies for dealing with their emotions.
This skill is known as “emotion regulation,” and it’s not an inherent personality trait, but a skill that can be developed.
If you feel overwhelmed by the world’s pressures, consider implementing these strategies before allowing another headline, social media update, or family gathering to push you over the edge:
Monitor your news and social media diet
It should not surprise you that excessively watching the news or scrolling through social media can be a trigger because it is intended to be addictive. Fear and outrage drive clicks, which in turn generate profits. The more stimulated you become, the longer you stay engaged, and the worse you ultimately feel.
The solution is to establish limits. Check news channels or social media only once or twice daily. Follow reliable sources that prioritize factual reporting over sensational headlines. And remember, truly important information will reach you regardless, and unimportant details won’t matter in the long run.
Recognize what is in your control
A primary cause of spiraling anxiety or anger is the perception of losing control. A crucial step in addressing this is recognizing what you can control versus what you cannot.
If you can take action to improve a situation, then by all means, do so. But if the situation is beyond your control, focus on redirecting your attention. Perhaps you can identify a related action that might have a positive impact, even if you cannot resolve the core problem alone.
A simple way to assess this? Ask yourself: *Is it my responsibility to resolve this issue?* If not, then release it.
Take a breath
When we become upset, our nervous systems react faster than our minds can process. Our heart rate increases, our muscles tense, and we’re ready to explode. This is the cue to take a few deep breaths. Slowing your breathing signals to your nervous system: *Hold on until a rational response can be formulated.*
Try this: Inhale for four seconds, hold for four, exhale for six. Repeat this three times before reacting. You will notice a change.
Name what you’re feeling
Stating “I’m angry!” is not specific enough to clarify your experience. Are you frustrated? Disappointed? Betrayed? Annoyed? Studies indicate that people who can accurately identify their emotions are better equipped to manage them.
The next time you are about to lose control, take a moment to identify the specific emotion you’re feeling. Doing so might prevent you from sending a regrettable text or making an obscene gesture at another driver.
Change the way you think about the situation
Once you have calmed down enough to think clearly and have labeled the emotion, it’s time for a cognitive reset. Enter *reappraisal*—a science-backed strategy that helps you rethink a situation in a way that changes its emotional impact.
Instead of viewing a setback as a catastrophe, can you reframe it as a challenge? Instead of assuming someone intends to harm you, could you consider the possibility that they are simply having a difficult day?
Research demonstrates that individuals who regularly reappraise their emotions tend to experience lower levels of stress and anxiety, enjoy better relationships, and even have improved physical health.
This mental transformation isn’t instantaneous; this is why breathwork is essential first. However, once the initial emotional response diminishes, reappraisal can assist you in progressing in a more productive and less reactive manner.
Do something you enjoy
If your emotional state is on the verge of collapse, here’s a suggestion: take a break. Spend time outdoors. Engage in a game. Listen to music. Watch a comedy show. Call a friend who makes you laugh. Take a walk—or, if you’re like me, make someone a cup of coffee.
This isn’t about avoidance, but rather about allowing your mind and body a chance to recover. Research indicates that engaging in enjoyable activities—particularly those that involve movement or laughter—helps to disrupt the cycle of stress and anxiety.
Therefore, if your immediate reaction is to continue scrolling through negative content for another hour, resist the urge. Instead, engage in a fun activity in the real world. You will return with a clearer mind and a more balanced outlook.
Lean on people
Another step you can take is to reach out for support from others—and not just from those who agree with you.
During periods of stress, we often retreat into echo chambers. We vent to like-minded individuals and block out opposing viewpoints. However, surrounding yourself with people who share your exact emotional state will not foster resilience; it will only amplify your stress. Instead, seek out diverse perspectives. Connect with individuals who challenge you while still respecting you. Disagreement is not dangerous. Isolation is.
Emotion regulation does not imply passively accepting everything, ignoring problems, remaining silent, or pretending that everything is alright when it’s not. It’s about self-preservation, ensuring that your anger, frustration, or sadness fuels constructive action that leads to positive change rather than simply exhausting you. And let’s be honest, wouldn’t life be better if we all avoided exacerbating each other’s negative moods?
Ask yourself: *Can I view this differently?* *What helpful action can I take?* Then, choose wisely. Your future self (and everyone around you) will appreciate it.
These views are solely those of the author and not those of the Yale School of Medicine.
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